The most famous pregnancy crisis story, like, EVER

Pete Wilson did it again – he always seems to post things I’m already thinking about. Hee hee. This time he was talking about the nativity scene.

It kinda reminded me of one of my Sunday Scribbling posts from last year…on the prompt ‘Late’. I love the story of Jesus coming into this world, because it’s like the most famous pregnancy crisis story EVER. At the time of year when we will usually get a huge increase of pregnancy loss and pregnancy crisis clients.

So I’m doing a spot of post recycling. Here is the original scribbling:

In true Brunettekoala fashion, when you say ‘Late’ I think ‘period’.

(No, I don’t mean punctuation…)

Yep, it’s part of the joys of having a mind that has been mostly challenged to think and research in the world of women’s health. And of course now, most of my time is spent in pregnancy crisis work.

It gets in everywhere. Here are a few real life examples of where:

Open Scene: A group of Health Scientists eating lunch in medical school social space

E: “These new Birkenstock sandals are really great. So comfortable”

BK: (waking up from her wee zone out) What? Birth control sandals?!

Open Scene: A group of students on a worship leader training course

Pastor: So, I want you to think, and name me some women in the bible who heard from God personally.

BK: Mary and Elizabeth?

Pastor: Trust you to pick the 2 pregnant women in the bible!

…and so it goes on.

I still remember the day I realised I was ‘late’. I was on a school trip at the time. I came up with so many reasons why it wasn’t a concern so I keep myself in denial and continuing ignoring what was glaringly obvious. I get reminded every time a woman comes in for a pregnant test, and she lists the reasons why she hopes being ‘late’ isn’t a cause for anxiety.

Of course sometimes they are true. The woman isn’t pregnant.

This time of year, I wonder what it must have been like for Mary. I think we kind of forget that she was a person. Imagine a 14 year old girl in your church who’s dating one of the stand-up  15 year old boys in your church? She comes to you one day, telling you she is pregnant. No, it’s not her boyfriend, she hasn’t had sex with anyone. An angel came to her when she was in the house alone telling her that not only was she unexpectedly pregnant, but the person growing inside of her was going to be the Saviour of the world?

Would you believe her? Would you support her?

Oh, and when she’s 9 months pregnant, she has to traipse across the country (probably on foot I’m guessing) so she can take part in a census and pay her taxes. And then she goes into labour – not a midwife in sight. No pain relief. No ice chips. No shower. No bed.

And then imagine, just after you’ve given birth in a scabby shed. A whole pile of total foreigners you’ve never met before turn up unannounced saying they followed a star to get there. And then another pile of shepherds (the poorest and most uneducated people in your society) appear too.

The reality of the Christmas story…God became human to bring people together who wouldn’t have been brought together otherwise. God became to be truly amongst us, blowing our trumped up snobby and materialistic power hungry myths of him away. Because he was willing to come into the world under stigma and in squalor so He could show us what it truly meant to be human. So he could show us how to love. So He could show us that he truly knew what it was like to be us, to feel pain, to be mocked, insulted, to have fun, to know joy, to be angry, to show us where our priorities should be.

Tedious link? I have no doubt.

But then my chain of thought tends to work in bizarre ways.

Riding the wave

Today one of our newest volunteers asked me about how I ended up working in the pregnancy crisis centre.

Yeah, long story, right? One of our mutual friends, who worked for the centre at the time of my employment came in and immediately started picking up on what I’d left out.

Everything in my life has had a purpose that leading up to this point. It’s so obvious looking back now, but it certainly wasn’t always clear at the time.

In 4 hours time I need to be up to drive to the airport and start making the journey to Basingstoke. I can’t sleep.

I was reading Angie Smith’s blog. I wasn’t expecting to see a ultrasound picture taken at 10 weeks gestation.

Yes, that was the stage of pregnancy I was at when I had it terminated.

It was a little bit of a kick in the guts to see that, I’ll admit. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock, and bizarrely I don’t want to turn it back to the point before she was conceived to change things in that way. Turning back the clock I wish I would have had the information, support and courage to make a different decision.

You can’t think like that though. Because if it hadn’t been for Sophie being part of my life, I wouldn’t have the wisdom and understanding I have now. The perspective I have when I meet with clients, or abortion providers is different from many of my colleagues. It’s not that I necessarily agree with the people who think it’s all ok, it’s that I get where they’re coming from…because I used to have a totally different viewpoint.

God is doing some crazy things with this work, ministry or whatever you want to call it.

Crazy in the best and in some cases, most unexpected of ways.

He is, as Sarah Chia put it earlier this year, widening my territory.

And yet, I’m not that close to God as I once was. My quiet times are um, yeah, embarrassingly few and far between. My prayer life sucks compared to what it once was. There are lots of things in my life that need sorting.

I feel like I’m just riding this wave of God…He seems to have me along for the ride whether I like or not really!

The majority of the time, I do like it. I love it. The life God has for me is never dull.

But it is sometimes tough.

Um, actually a lot of the time it is tough.

I need to get prepared - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually – as much as I can for what God has in store for 2010.

How do you do that? Answers on a postcard (or blog comment) please…

 

On having babies…

Over the years I’ve learned more than you could possibly ever need to know about pregnancy and childbirth (unless you’re a midwife or obstetrics consultant…then you should know).

There are the days where I feel a little jealous of my childbearing friends knowing that I will most likely never ever again be pregnant.

Then there are days when I’m like, you know what? Thank you God that I will never have to go through that.

Like hearing another friend’s childbirth story last night. Worth it for the bundle of chilled out newborn baby boy she has as a result. But I won’t go into details because I wouldn’t like to scare anyone.

Seriously. Ouch. No, let me scream that…. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (followed by much swearing)

Her husband says that watching childbirth is ‘like watching the deleted scenes from Platoon‘. We girlies didn’t know what that meant. Our friend Russell informs us that it’s something to do with chopping up a cow (?!?!)

However I can pass on 2 tips for anyone about to give birth. One is new to me, the other isn’t.

1. Raspberry Leaf tea or Capsules really help get labour going. You can take them from 36 wks onwards (but speak to your midwife/doctor/pharmacist).

2. After giving birth, start taking senokot.

Meanwhile, my legs are staying firmly crossed just in case my doctor got it wrong!

Chocotastic Recipes Needed

pandoro & my homemade chocolate fudge sauce....mmmmm (photography by thestatethatiamin)

So one of our trustees has come up with a chocotastic plan to raise some funds for our pregnancy crisis centre.

We’re having a chocolate morning at the end of November.

So why not put together a book full of chocolatey recipes, and sell it to raise funds for our centre?

Sounds like a great plan (and a great excuse to eat some chocolate…woo hoo!)

Soooooo….do you have any recipes you’d be willing to share for our recipe book?

If so, please get in touch! If you can type up your recipe in a Microsoft Word document and e-mail it to

brunettekoala @ hotmail . com

That would be fantastic!!

Thanks everyone!!

Feels like more than a year…

I’ve been answering some questions posed to me by the lovely Lori Wilhite about my involvement in pregnancy crisis work.

It got me reflecting back (once again) on the journey that brought me here, doing what it is that I do.

I so remember the anxiety that went into writing all about it on my blog...the amount of times I wrote and deleted posts (sometimes even after publishing them). I remember the weirdness of it just not being mentioned at smallgroup at first. I remember meeting Alastair and just not knowing what to say to someone I knew only through blogging, and him being one of the first people I mentioned that I had essentially handed in my resignation to the centre. I remember finding out that some many more folks at MBC were reading my blog than I realised – lurkers!! – and just being really nervous about how they were responding to it, and whether they thought I was a total nutter or something. Maybe don’t answer that…?!

But I also remember a few of the e-mails I got, and the comments that were left and hearing of people inspired to get involved in this work or start talking about crisis pregnancy situations and/or pregnancy loss they had experienced.

I can’t believe that it was only a year ago that I finally finished writing about it. I had intended no more than 6 posts. I wrote 14 in the end. I sure am long-winded.

How much has happened since then. How much has changed since then.

I moved back home. God (through others) talked me into staying and taking up the challenge of being ‘in charge’, not alone but doing it together with Sarah. And I went to South Africa (finally).

I wonder what will have happened by this time next year?

It sure seems quiet around here…

…yep, it’s got to THAT time of year again. The time of year when the depression sets in as the days get shorter and shorter and you don’t want to get out of bed for fear of the icy cold blast that hits you as soon as you part from your duvet cover…

…the time of year when I start going into schools that are full of germs…and everyone you know has some kind of bug…(except this year we’re scaring people into being a bit more Public Health minded with two words…swine flu).

I’m now over half way through this stint of schools visits for October. I’m definitely fighting off something as have been struggling with my joints seizing up/aching and a sore throat and some crazy tiredness. Today I almost walked straight in front of a bus because I was just totally spaced out.

It’s a reminder to me of the importance to rest, to eat healthy and try not to overdo things.

It’s a reminder that although it sucks not to be fully ‘healthy’, there was a point where working 5 hours in a job made for 3 days of sleeping to recover. That there was a time when I couldn’t so much as lift a hairdryer to my head.

And I’m reminded of the words of Isaiah…

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:29-31

Today was looooonnnnnnggggg and I was having a tough time staying focused but then someone came to drop off a pile of baby stuff – a buggy, some toys and clothes…including a pair of slippers that look like Elmo!!!

Ok, so I totally confess that I LOVE Elmo. In fact one of my dreams is to be on Sesame Street and do the Alphabet song with Elmo (although it’s ‘Zed’ not ‘Zee’). The Elmo slippers have now become our centre mascots and have a home next to our main computer.

Unless some newborn kiddle like really needs them.

But until that day comes they’re  sitting there to cheer me up as I tear my hair out trying to get everything done that needs doing or trying to work out some fresh ways of getting teenagers to think about relationships, pregnancy, parenting, adoption and abortion.

They are the new cinnamon swirls in other words….

Just to let you know…

That my group got the game with the other plastic foetus model today. They nominated ‘Bob’ as a potential name to christen that model with. After trying to work out if it was a boy or girl. To which someone went ‘duh, it’s clearly a boy‘….mistaking an umbilical cord for a certain bit of male anatomy I’m not embarrassed to say but won’t on my blog for fear of the p0*n spammers that will start appearing if I do.

I found that a little bit worrying that you could mix those things up (the very long umbilical cord being mistaken for a you-know-what, I mean). Hopefully said teen isn’t looking into a career as a surgeon or OB/GYN – that’s all I’m saying…(can you imagine?!?)

On Thursday I may introduce you to Felix and maybe-Bob…

The calm in the storm

The last week has not been good (that may be a mild understatement…lol). You ever hear that phrase “you gotta take the bitter with the sweet“?

The sweet – the ceilidh went well, we’ve got some lovely people who are wanting to join our youth and schools team at the centre.

The bitter – the work is piling on. I’m running on empty, and I’m exhausted. I’m seeing so much need and not sure what to do about it. I think I need to re-learn that word….what is it….um….oh yeah! No.

Today was a really pants day. I didn’t sleep well last night. My head was spinning and had a very illuminating chat with friends in the car home from smallgroup. There’s been more of that today…like I said I’m seeing so much need and not sure what to do about it.

Work got really stressful (I left 3.5 hours late today) and in the middle of it I got an e-mail from my best friend in Aberdeen around lunchtime…I started to pour out what had been going on lately and then I lost the whole reply back to her. I started to try and a new piece of work done, and realised that I was staring at a blank computer screen, so upset, so totally wiped out that I just couldn’t do it.

Time to take some time out Laura Anne... I felt God say.

So I did. I found a CD of worship music written by a guy I used to work with, Eddie Thomson. Put it on the computer, prayed and then took The Shaming of the Strong off the bookshelf and read for a bit.

And it put everything into perspective.

I returned to work refreshed and with a lot more peace and clarity for the task in hand.

I did later have a stressed out moment at 4.35 p.m. realising I hadn’t got my road tax and had to make a mad rush to the nearest post office. I grabbed a Starbucks on the way back to fuel my last slog to the finish line.

But you know, I actually felt guilty for taking that time out. I mean I was cutting into my ‘work time’.

Or should I be taking more time to do that at work? Remembering that I have a pastoral responsibility for both our clients, and the spiritual health and morale of our volunteers?

I got tweeted this verse (I’ll add in the verse before it too) which has been on my mind today…

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The all important cinnamon swirls

Now, I know on my blog Friday means all things Scottish, but actually in the pregnancy centre where I work, it means cinnamon swirls from Starbucks.

A while ago, after promising to photograph Starbucks and the cinnamon swirls, I finally remembered to take a picture of the infamous cinnamon swirls that are like the food of joy to Sarah and I!

Cinnamon Swirl prior to consumption

Sarah is politer than me so she sometimes uses a fork to eat her cinnamon swirl. Note the fact we’ve got an apple in the back to try and make it look like we’re really very healthy eaters…ha!

Cinnamon swirl being consumed by Sarah

Notice that at this point a training folder has been abandoned to give the cinnamon swirl our full attention.

They are seriously yummy though. And the more icing the better really. Sometimes the icing comes off on the inside of the paper bag the barista person pops them in. That can be most distressing and sometimes we do have to go on an icing rescue mission.

Now…on to more serious mattters…later on the same day Sarah was flicking through a resource catalogue called Childbirth Graphics. It basically has models and posters and other things to help train doctors, nurses, midwives and so on.

Apparently the reality childbirth and pregnancy freaks Sarah out, and while I worked away on the computer I suddenly heard ‘Ewwww! Oh no! Does that actually happen? Look at the size of that, surely that can’t be right?!‘…you get the idea. So while I was laughing at her horror and the irony that she works in a pregnancy crisis centre…I took a photo.

She tried to hide behind the catalogue.

Mistake.

Working in the job we do can be stressful and seriously, it’s our cinnamon swirls, random chippies before trustee meetings and crazy sense of humour that get us through.

Like last week when somehow we got onto the topic of my uni dissertation on culturally appropriate maternity care which lead to the subject of infant male circumcision. Which lead to searching on wikipedia to find out more about it (like what do they actually take off?) and some very strange discussions that we’re glad no one walked in on.

But then so often we hear waaaay too much detail about people’s lives that would make most people scream ‘ewww’ or blush, that you get strangely used talking about that sort of things in a very matter-of-fact way!

Peanuts and Pregnancy

Recently I discovered from one of my many pregnant friends, that midwives are advising pregnant women not to eat food containing peanuts while they are pregnant in case their unborn is allergic.

I would have been…well…screwed.

My staple diet (since I had an adversion to pasta) was peanut butter and bananas. Which I craved. A lot. (and for some weird reason still sometimes do on random occasions)

Which made me go on an internet search to what happened to Ben & Jerry’s Monkey Wrench ice cream. Seriously, I remember the desperation I felt NEEDING that ice cream at one point. Ha ha!

This was the ultimate ice cream though – it was a mixture of banana and peanut butter ice cream, with walnuts, fudge and peanut butter cups.

Apparently it’s a ‘retired’ flavour.

Sob!

If I ever do under some weird circumstance become pregnant again, I may have to demand they bring it out of retirement.

Surely if you crave something, its because your baby wants it??

Then again, I still want them to bring it out of retirement. I loved that ice cream!

In the meantime, I’ll have to settle for the closest thing I can find to it – Chunky Monkey.

Just as a matter of curiosity – what are some of the things you craved/had adversion to while pregnant?